Texting and Twitter have spawned a new language (Textese?) full of LOL and OMG to save on characters… This brings to mind an earlier language, Cablese, which sought to minimize the number of words in a message, when telegrams were charged by the word. So my Dad during WWII would get messages from BBC headquarters along the lines of

GRATEFULLEST YOU DESPATCH URGENTEST INTERVIEWS BRITISH TANK CREWS DESERTWARDS INTERESTINGEST HOME AND EUROPEAN STOP

There’s an challenging exercise in this, rewriting The Rubaiyat:

A book of verses underneath the bough                        VERSEPRINT SUBBOUGH (2 words)

A loaf of bread, a jug of wine,                                         EUCHARISTWISE (1 word)

And thou beside me, singing in the wilderness.        CUMSONGSTRESS DESERTWARDS (2)

Oh, wilderness were Paradise enow!                            OKAYS WILDERNESS (total 7 words)

Then there’s the story of the foreign correspondent who received a missive from his office:

WHY UNNEWS?

He replied

UNNEWS GOOD NEWS

Came the sinister rejoinder

UNNEWS UNJOB

Back he came with

UPSHOVE JOB ARSEWARDS

Years ago a British journalist is supposed to have sent a telegram to a Hollywood agent asking

HOW OLD CARY GRANT?

to which the man himself replied

OLD CARY GRANT FINE HOW YOU?